Finding my Muse..

Here I am, staring at this blank white screen, wondering what to type. A few things flash in my mashed up mind, but nothing interesting. I am sure every one who has written something feels there is a writer hiding deep inside, and no matter how bad we write, its still beautiful for us. That's when i wondered if I am experiencing a "writer's block". Now before you sneer, I sneered upon myself. Considering I have published three best sellers and one that was panned by the critics, its natural that I go through this phase. Ha!! How I wish all these were true!! Unfortunately, I happen to be just one of those blokes who feel they can write, but never give it a try. There are a hundred excuses; too much work, hanging out with friends, I feel sleepy, I had to kill mosquitoes and what not. Finally, when you have all the time to scribble, we realise those were just excuses.At least that's what I felt. This is not any classic writer's block and I am no Shakespeare. Still, considering I am a writer, what does everyone of us need to write? A story? No. Characters? No.A setting? No. Any clue???.....

Now stop thinking and ask me what the hell is it. Well, its a muse. I am sure every single writer, at some point of writing has had a muse. Now don't jump into conclusions. Having a muse doesn't mean it should be a girl or a guy..or both. It can be anything, but there has to be a story behind it, a personal attachment. Something about which you can lose yourself in its thoughts. The way Kemal builds a museum of every single object he collected that reminded him of Fusun , or the city that gave Karla to Shantaram, or the way my neighbourhood shopkeeper lives inside his tiny shop, listening to the radio all day and night, immune to the madness surrounding him. So there it is, I need a muse. Now I start wondering who or what my muse is. I need something or someone apart from all the beautiful women who cross my life every single day. Something that brings back fond memories. How long can I keep musing about the monsoon? And since its given me a bad cold (I cannot blame the beer you know), I should refrain from patronising it. I need something that is close to my heart, which I don't have with me now, something I long for, and a lot of memories attached to it... Hmmm, now what could it be?? think think think think think think think think...tun tun tun tun tun tun (sing it in the tune of Come As You Are by Nirvana)....

Eurekaaaaaaaaaa!!!! ( NO, am not running around naked :-D ).

Why the bloody hell did I not think about you? All through my life, I have spent most of my life dreaming about you, at your ethereal beauty and charm, longing to be with you, hurt when people talk bad about you(although some of it is true), the very meaning of my existence and who I am. Although I have spent most of my life away from you, the love has only grown deeper and stronger. There you are, my muse, and I, an estranged lover longing to get back to you. So my dear,starting now I dedicate my writings to you.

Also a special thanks to someone really special, for getting me back to the world of letters and dreams :-)